Liquor Cuts Deeper
by Sombereyes
Summary: Tenten became emotional when she drank. It opened her up enough to let her tell the world what she was really thinking…and feeling. At the time, Hinata had been immensely grateful for the chink in Tenten's armor. Now, she could only resent the entire matter, because like it or not, they'd put themselves in a rather obscure situation because of it.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: No excuse for this, outside of the fact that I still am sick, and I'm also bored. Multiple chapters, citrus content in later chapters... Tenten/Hinata, if that pairing bothers you inherently, might not want to read this...just saying...

 **Liquor Cuts Deeper**

Nighttime at the Hyuga compound was normally as stern an affair as any other time of day. It was filled with the complexities of bloodline and tradition. Many outsiders were intimidated. Why wouldn't they be? The Hyuga were a family of bluebloods when it came to Konohagakure, and they considered themselves above many of the lesser villagers. Even the civilians of the clan considered themselves to be prime catches. They expected to be sent off into arranged marriages for young rulers looking for a bit of arm candy.

It was because of their extreme clout that many avoided even the branch members of the family. Even shinobi of equally prestigious clans, or at least ones equally as skilled, would give the Hyuga the space they demanded. Simply because it was easier that way. Less hassle, and fighting.

Tenten, however, was no such ninja. She neither felt intimidated by the deep traditions, nor Hiashi Hyuga, the clan leader himself. There were a few reasons for this. Primarily, she knew him well enough to understand that he would never trifle with someone like her. She was too far beneath him. Even if she wandered the compound, as she often did, the most he would do is ignore her. In fact, it was the same way that one would ignore a bug in the corner of a room.

So long as she didn't complicate his personal matters, he couldn't be bothered to chase her from his domain.

This was all well and good for her, as she really wasn't trying to gain his favor in the first place. Instead, she wandered into the stone garden that many guards patrolled. Two sisters shared the adjoining space. One room belonged to Hanabi, the future leader of the clan. The other room belonged to Hinata, the elder of the two sister, fated to be cast off into the recesses of the branch family.

Slipping the door open, she entered Hinata's room to find the woman sorting through things. Objects that were not her own. Neji's old possessions.

Many of the keepsakes were old and dusty. The years ebbing by in a way that left a musty stench to the fabrics and a yellow color to the papers and photos. "I thought I'd find you doing that." Tenten said, resigning herself to the fact that Hinata was as much a worrier as she was a creature of habit. Toeing off her sandals before they could mark up the floor, she swallowed back a long rant. "It's been years, you can stop now."

"Three years." Hinata murmured. "It doesn't seem so long to me."

"But, it has been that long already. You need to just accept that." Tenten plucked the old shirt from Hinata's hands. His smell had faded from it, but the rips he'd put in the fabric were the same as always. "Don't make me smack you upside the head…"

"A meaningless threat, as always." Hinata said, as she pulled back the garment and hugged it to her chest before setting it back in the box. It would rest there, along with the rest of the things that were on the table. "You've never hit me, not even once." Her fingers toyed along that training garb once more.

The black cotton and mesh training garb was one of Neij's favorites, and he often wore it under his white tunic. Why Hinata saw the need to keep it was beyond Tenten's understanding, but there it was, along with other bits and pieces that Hinata managed to salvage from Neij's room. Here they were again, on the anniversary of the night he died, without anyone besides themselves to quite the otherwise dreadful thoughts.

"Yeah, well even if I haven't hit you...sometimes I think I should." Tenten muttered, as she watched Hinata close the box up. "It's stupid to keep moping around. Today's just another day. Just like yesterday, just like tomorrow. It's just a day."

"You still came though." Hinata told her. "So, that must mean that tonight means something to you."

"You're the sentimental one, not me. It's nothing like that, okay?" Tenten groused, arms crossed, shutting the taller woman off from insinuating something so personal. "I just know you well enough to know to better. You'll end up a sobbing mess if I leave you alone."

"I'm sure you have other places to be."

"Like where?" Tenten scoffed. "It's the middle of the night."

"Lee's probably at the grave." Hinata said, knowing that's where the man was sobbing when she'd left his side an hour before sunset. "He's your teammate, shouldn't you keep him from being reckless?"

"He's a man, isn't he?" It was a rude question, honestly, but one that held true. "Lee will be fine." Tenten said then a moment later. "He'll blubber no matter what I do. It doesn't matter if I'm there or not...so I'd rather just not." It would give her a headache, and besides that, Lee would be back to his usual vigor after he had some sleep, and got some food into him. He was the least of her worries, at least when he was preoccupied enough to stay out of trouble.

Hinata was a different matter entirely. She would hold it in, let the wounds of that old past continue to poison her from the inside out. It seemed like that's what being a Hyuga was good for. Bitterness, anger, a world of regret that was beyond the point of agitating. When Neji was in a somewhat crabby mood, it was borderline cute. Somewhat amusing even if nothing else. Hinata in a bad mood was just depressing, and Tenten hated depressing things.

"How do you do it?" Hinata asked. "Let everything just roll off your back like that?"

"How can you not?" Tenten rebuked. "I don't have a choice, between you, Lee, and Guy, who needs my tears?"

"I'd rather see you cry, than cross your arms like that." Hinata hated it. That tough front.

"Why cry? There's no point." That thin veneer of strength and power. Tenten held it up in front of her like a shield to push away how she really felt. She was never good at dealing with her emotions. She even thought them pointless more or less. "Tears never bring anyone back, and besides, I have my own life to live, don't I?"

"You're right." Hinata admitted.

Pushing herself up off of the floor, she stood, running her hands through her long hair, pushing it behind her back. It had gotten so long, a deep contrast to her porcelain skin. White on almost midnight, it played against the delicate features of Hinata's face. Perfection, almost, if it were not for that broken smile, shaking into a half frown. Barefoot, she made her way across the floor, and over to the window that she closed, locking out the moonlight, and drawing the drapes.

A purple sweater rested open atop one of her soft pink dresses, and she shed it with the same grace as any ninja would, folding it over once, and placing it on the table. To her, the room was already stifling. The atmosphere was even more difficult to contend with. "Then why are you here, Tenten?"

"For the same reason I was last year." Tenten said, hoping that alone would be enough to explain away her actions.

"There was hard liquor involved last year." Hinata's voice held an edge. Pain, hurt that Tenten had wished would not be there came through as clear as day.

"Doesn't matter." Tenten told her, dropping her guard only a little. "I came to see you, didn't I?"

"After getting so drink on sake that you thought I was my cousin." Hinata reminded her, not wanting to recall the entire sordid mess herself, either. "You came looking for Neji, you were so drunk."

"It was dark out." Tenten growled, her only defense for the entire situation, and even that didn't hold up well under scrutiny. "You were in a black training outfit beating the absolute crap out of the tree in front of Neij's old room…what was I supposed to think?"

"Most certainly that my cousin hadn't come back from the dead." Hinata sighed.

"I didn't think that…"

"Then what on earth _did_ you think?"

"Not that…"

"You kissed me."

"I was drunk and out of my mind."

"You were trying to kiss him…but it was me. You kissed me."

"I know damn it!" Tenten shouted hands balled into fists. It hurt her voice, fraying the edges under the pressure of that rage. "I know…"

Lee wasn't the only one who would do well to stay away from the heavy drinks. Tenten became emotional when she drank. It opened her up enough to let her tell the world what she was really thinking…and feeling. At the time, Hinata had been immensely grateful for the chink in Tenten's armor. Now, she could only resent the entire matter, because like it or not, they'd put themselves in a rather obscure situation because of it.

"We agreed not to bring this up again." Hinata murmured.

"That was the deal…" Tenten agreed.

"Then why are you here now?" Hinata asked. "Why come here tonight of all nights, when you know that's the topic that'll somehow come up?"

Tenten shrugged, swallowing hard as she sighed. It had taken her an entire year to grapple with the fact that she'd kissed another woman while being in a drunken stupor. That long to make sense of why even after she realized the target of her affections was indeed Hinata Hyuga, she still pinned the young woman to a tree and continued to kiss her senselessly. The things they did that night weren't a total blur. Though Tenten was missing fragments, she knew she was playing the part of the drunk lunatic…

She hadn't been as sloshed as she pretended to be…there was some logic drenched in that fog, and yet, for all of that, one thing remained unbelievably unclear.

"I can't forget it." Tenten told her, realizing full well that if she came here tonight, it would be to face down this one singular detail. "And I don't know why the hell you let me get my hand halfway down your pants before you stopped me. Even then, you dragged me to your room, and forced me to stay here until I sobered up." Honestly, Tenten supposed she should be thankful, but bitterly, she could only think of that damn kiss. That too close for comfort realization that Hinata, up to a point, had accepted her advances. "I keep rolling that around in my head, it doesn't make sense."

Hinata bristled against the obvious accusation. "Is this something we honestly need to discuss an entire year later?"

"Since there's clearly something going on, I'd say yes." Tenten hissed. "You could have fought me off sooner than that, but you didn't…"

"I didn't see a reason to. I assumed you would come to your own senses soon enough."

"You were consenting!" In the end, that's what really grated on her. "If I had been sober, would you have stopped me?" Tenten had to know.

"That's hardly the reality I was presented with at the time."

"Just answer the damn question."

Hinata closed her eyes, her mouth feeling like sandpaper. "If you were sober, I would not have found myself in that position in the first place." Hinata began, knowing full well that at any other time, Tenten wouldn't have acted that way. "You would not have kissed me. We would not be having this conversation. Knowing that, I had no choice but to stop you, because it would have been a mistake otherwise."

"So you wanted me to screw you…" Tenten didn't mince words. That's what it would have been. An emotionless, mindless screw.

"Crassly put, but under the right circumstance, I would not have been opposed."

"And what in the hell would be the right circumstance?"

"The both of us sober." Hinata admitted quietly. "Ready to accept that our actions would still be there in the morning. Able to deal with the ramifications of that." Hinata sighed deeply. She had never spoken with Tenten on this all too important deeper level. Maybe she should have sooner, but she had been sure that Tenten wanted nothing more to do with that night. With those lapses of good judgement. "I won't deny that I have an occasional attraction to particular women, or that such an attraction includes you."

Having heard all of that made Tenten's head hurt. It was like one of Lee's crazy antics on a bad day…but Hinata wasn't making a joke, or jabbering about nonsense. Still, it was borderline unbelievable. "Oh, come on…you can't be serious."

"I am."

"And you never thought to actually tell me that sooner?"

"Would it have made a difference?"

"…well…that's…"

Hinata licked her lips, as she went to go sit on the side of her bed. "Does it make a difference now?" The sheets were freshly washed as of that day, soft cotton, all too inviting. Her thumb ran along that immaculate comforter. Woven floral patterns and the Hyuga family crest embroidered there. That thread was silk, it jutted out, tangible against her thumb. Her eyes met Tenten's, and she was sure then. If Tenten would let her, she would take that woman then and there. "My feelings on the matter haven't changed in the slightest."

It was indisputably an open invitation. One that Hinata made clear as she waited for Tenten's answer. Feeling as though she was being put on the spot, the brown haired kunoichi could only bite her lower lip. Trying, desperately, to fight through the complexities of that question. It was loaded in more ways than one.

"But I'm not…" Tenten chomped right down on that stray thought. That would just make matters worse.

"A lesbian?" Hinata offered. "Neither am I, strictly speaking."

"Don't you think that's a little unfair?" Tenten accused, "Putting me on the spot like that? And whether or not I'm gay doesn't really matter. That's not the point!"

"I agree." Hinata said coolly. "The point is, you aren't used to being uncomfortable. Fair or not, the truth is what you asked for." Hinata murmured, though her heart truly began to sink deep within her chest. Rejection wasn't fatal, and if Tenten pushed her away, so be it. She would find some way to deal with that, just as she dealt with every difficult happening in her life. "If that makes you uncomfortable...if I do…"

"You don't…"Tenten had come to see her. "I just…"

"Just...what?"

"Needed to see you." Tenten murmured.

To face down the fact that she could no longer bury this transgression between them. This was a problem, and Tenten didn't run away from those. She came here to settle it. Now that she knew she wasn't completely wrong in her assumptions, she didn't know what to do. With a defeated sigh, and knowing Hinata was not a complete and total pervert, she came to also sit down on the bed.

"I thought maybe I was wrong, or drunker than I thought I was." She offered a weak lopsided grin. "Figured I was just seeing things."

"You weren't." Hinata admitted.

It was a gamble, but she was going to chance it. Putting a hand over Tenten's own was the uneasy yet practical first step. The woman didn't pull away. She tensed up a little bit, yet, the weapon master didn't budge. Hinata redoubled her efforts, when her other hand reached out to Tenten's cheek.

There was no denying her intentions at that point, and Tenten backed away, putting space between them. "Wait…" Back against the wall, she pulled her knees up, resting her chin there.

"If you don't want to, Tenten, I understand. Just-"

"Stop." She interrupted harshly. "Stop putting words in my mouth. Don't…assume things…"

Hinata waited, also scooting to the back where the bed met the wall, leaning there, her long legs outstretched. She had never seen Tenten look so small before, and though the nimble woman was agile and flexible by nature, Hinata had never seen Tenten look so…lost…confused…sad…so many things, all of them rolled up into the things Tenten refused to say.

Hinata continued to wait. Quietly counting the moments by, listening to Tenten's soft breath, and wishing she could just kiss the woman once. Take away all of that turmoil that seemed to keep her occupied.

Finally, Tenten lowered her knees, changed her position to one that mirrored Hinata's own, and closed her eyes. Maybe it would be easier if she didn't have to look at Hinata. "I kind of knew what I was doing." She began tensely. "The first time you broke the kiss, and I heard your voice I wanted to drown the world. You were right there, so…" What made Tenten feel like shit though, was that she wanted to drown out the world again. Pretend it wasn't there at all. There were a few times she'd felt like that, and almost caved, but tonight the urge was too strong. "I almost got drunk again…it scared me."

"But you're sober. And you're here with me." Hinata told her honestly. "I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you."

"I don't want you to think I'm using you…"

"I don't think terrible things about my friends."

"I just want the world to go away." Tenten finally said. "I've always told myself, one more day, it'll get easier. It doesn't. It won't. I don't want to have to think anymore, about anything…and if you can just get rid of that feeling for even a second…but I don't love you. So that's wrong of me to even want…"

"It doesn't solve anything, but it doesn't have to." Hinata finally began to understand the person behind that hard mask. There was a terrified human being underneath that shell. How long Tenten had been suffering by herself was anyone's guess. Hinata didn't want her to suffer alone. "Do you trust me?"

"I'm still sitting here." Tenten shrugged.

"Then, come here." Hinata murmured, patting her lap. "I'm not asking you to love me."

Tenten moved closer, and Hinata guided her to straddle her lap. Tenten was still nervous and tense, her shapely legs taunt, her breathing shallow. Her hands were pressed palms to the wall because she was afraid to actually touch Hinata. She'd never done something like this with anyone before…never…and her brain just wouldn't shut up for the life of her.

It warned her that this was a really bad idea. That she didn't belong in Hinata's lap, and if things continued, she'd be giving up her virginity to this woman. And cynically, Tenten reminded herself that she had planned to do that exact thing before while completely drunk, and so this was merely full circle.

Soft hands warmed her hips, thumbs running small, soothing circles through the fabric of Tenten's black uniform pants that had been faded by time. Hinata waiting, slowly working her fingers along the hem of Tenten's pants, along her waist. Trying to get her used to the idea, to the feeling of someone touching her.

"I've never…"

"Shh." Hinata hushed quietly. "I know."

Leaning in, capturing Tenten's lips with her own, it was all too much to bear. The roll of Tenten's shoulder's let her own that the woman was not entirely eased by the position they found themselves in. Pulling back, forehead-to-forehead, Hinata savored that moment.

"No one will ever have to know, I won't say anything." It was a promise. Hinata would keep it, take it to her grave if she had to. "You can trust me."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Another chapter finally ready. Sorry it's half the length, I was preoccupied with real life.

 **Liquor Cuts Deeper  
Chapter 2**

They kissed for a long time, tender, soft.

Baited breath, and intensity, all of it raw enough to melt the mind. Just what Tenten wanted...at least at first.

Tenten soon realized, Hinata was a practiced hand at this. It wasn't her first time kissing another, untying the binds that kept long brown hair in place, tangling her fingers into those newly freed tresses. Her fingertips paying across Tenten's neck, along her chin. Teasing little trails of touch that both scorched and froze her in place. There was something methodical in those movements, in the way Hinata was treating her.

What first passed as instinct now came across clearly as experience. Hinata knew exactly what she was doing.

Pulling away from that deepening kiss, Tenten let a hot, fearful hiss slip from between her teeth. "This is so wrong." Those words weren't satisfying so Tenten tried again. "The reasons are..." She prayed that Hinata would understand the emotion beneath those words. The wavering conviction there.

Hinata was steadfast, as she always tended to be when it really mattered. Her voice remained gentle as she continued to run her fingers through that soft brown hair. "I felt the same way once. if it wasn't with someone I loved, it had to be wrong."

"Then you understand why this shouldn't be happening." Tenten explained guiltily.

"I do, to some extent. One day, I realized there were times that I didn't want to be alone. That I shouldn't have to be." She would go slow, for Tenten's sake, take it easy, and coax her through whatever pain trapped her in this awful limbo. "I lost my virginity to a trusted friend. There are still times, when things get too hard…"

"You're just trying to justify it…" Tenten said weakly, that uneasy tremble still in her voice. "It's still wrong…you're not…him."

"I'm not." Hinata agreed. "But I know my cousin. He didn't tolerate weakness." She pulled Tenten closer, one hand sliding around to keep her there. The other rested firmly against one toned thigh. Her lips ghosted across the smooth flesh just below Tenten's ear. There were small emerald studs in the woman's ears, beautiful little stones. "If he saw you like this, I don't think he'd like that either. You became too strong for your own good. Neji would hate that."

"I'm not strong enough." Tenten shot back, biting her own tongue in shame at her own admission.

"You are too." Hinata could feel the tension building in Tenten. "But strong people, they can't be like that all the time."

"There's weakness, and then there's being pathetic." That was something that the older woman firmly believed in. "This isn't being weak."

Tenten was trapped in her own mind...her own perceptions and expectations weighing her down...Hinata could see it in the woman's dark gaze and deep frown. She was working towards something in that back of that head of hers. The only problem was, Hinata had no idea what it could be. "Do you want me to stop?" The question was as non-judgmental as it could possibly be.

"No." Tenten didn't want to stop.

"We don't have to do this." Honest concern mingling with repressed desire that begged otherwise, another question demanded an answer. "Do you want me to kiss you again?"

The weapon's expert was at a loss when those words reached her. Pure insecurity held her back now, because this was one instance where her confidence melted under the weight of her own loneliness. God, she just needed a drink. Just a shot, maybe two, but those were the desires she'd been trying to suppress. Tenten knew the truth, if she drank, it wouldn't just be one or two shots. It'd be a half a bottle of whatever she could get her hands on. One shot after the other, until her mind shut off, and she could do what she wanted...

Without reservations.

Tenten found it hard to breathe. "Yes."

"Okay." Hinata murmured ever so softly.

Hinata leaned in again, capturing Tenten's lips in her own. Idly, she could feel Tenten's palms fall atop her shoulders, flexing uneasily. That same tremble once more shaking the kunoichi, drawing in an unsteady breath as she parted her lips. Hinata had never before felt such a need to soothe another…and she never imagined that she would have faced such a problem with Tenten…

...then again, she never expected that she would be kissing this woman now...

Loosing herself in the too good sensations of dragging lips, Hinata was unsure of how much time passed them by like that. Tentative gusts of soft breath mingled, a tiny sigh, and Tenten pulled away again, but only slightly. Her fingers, adventurous, began to trace sensitive skin, and the collar of Hinata's shirt. It was clumsy, inelegant, but one-hundred percent fueled by curiosity. Also by fear, by the hurt she wanted to boil away.

Both in herself, and in the woman with Byakugan eyes who looked at her with worry. The year of silence, of not talking about this, Tenten blamed herself.

Tenten had always wondered why people with those eyes seemed to always see right through her. As if she were transparent, and every emotion she had displayed clearly. There was no answer for any of that, no exact recourse. Once again, Hinata toppled over that same assumption when her hand slipped underneath Tenten's shirt.

Grabbing that snaking wrist, in a grip of her own, Tenten just had to know. Needed too…because though Hinata had never said it… "How do you really feel about me?" She asked, entirely afraid of what Hinata might answer. It was impossible to truly know.

Hinata could only sigh, offering a small shake of her head. "I have never given a name to it. To any woman that I've shared such intimacy with." It was complicated, too much so. Her feelings, wisps even in her own mind. Murmurs of the things she dreamed of, and the howls of reality. "Does that bother you?"

"Doesn't it drive you nuts?" Tenten forced how from beneath her deepest modesty, and her rational mind. "There's no honor in this…in what we're about to do."

"Honor is a silly word."

"It's a word we live by."

"I don't deny that." Hinata laughed lightly, the concern in her gaze ebbing. "You're one of the strongest shinobi I know. I'm amazed by that pride of yours, but, there's no warmth in that. There's no solace in holding a steel blade against the world for your whole life. People need more than that, we all do."

Having come to a decision, Hinata leaned to the side, crashing into the mattress, taking Tenten with her. Pulling the covers over the both of them, cocooning them both from the world beyond the comforter.

"Hinata…?"

"Your pain is too deep." Hinata knew that now. "I can't erase that. I can't push it aside…in spite of the rumors, you can't pit mind against body like that…"

"Why not?" Tenten groused, so bitter, confused…angry. So many things, each one slowly trickling into her voice, clinging there. Each emotion woven deeply, and tangled.

"Because you're going to wake up the next day." Hinata hugged her close. "It's still going to hurt. The only thing I can do right now is hold you, until it stops hurting. The only problem is, I don't know if it ever will."

It burned. Hearing those words forced salt to sting Tenten's eyes in a way it never quiet had before. It's wasn't the sharp stab of pain she was used to, or the dull ache that kept her up at night. This was this different. A tired kind of pain that exhausted her, even as the tears spilled from her eyes.

…

She faded in and out of sleep. In the haze of her own thought. Hinata had pulled the plug on something Tenten had never once thought to express within herself, or others. Now that it was set free, it terrified her. She knew another body held her in an embrace. That long legs tangled with her own, and that she was using an arm as a pillow. Gentle fingertips would run and weave into her tresses, lulling her back to sleep, and vaguely she even registered that it was Hinata doing it…

...but she was so tired, and overwhelmed.

It had to have been hours that they rested like that. Tenten occasionally let rivers of tears to fall from her eyes only to force herself to pull herself back together. Never for long, and it took so much effort and biting on the inside of her cheek. It was a struggle, a war all her own.

Hinata wondered if this was what the woman went through every night. She couldn't fathom the hell that would be. Fearing for Tenten's very soul, she inquired about it after another bout of tears passed them by.

At first Tenten didn't even know how to answer, but Hinata's lips pressed into her forehead, and then, her lips. Claiming them, unspoken promises there. She knew Hinata would be able to taste the metallic lingering of blood. Tenten had bitten her cheek too hard.

"Please…" Hinata begged. "Talk to me…"

"It doesn't normally happen like this." Tenten admitted, her words harsh to the ears. She had bitten down on her sobs, forcing them to be silent for too long. It had made her voice scratchy, and it was hard to keep it even. "I'm just, normally numb, I guess."

"Why haven't you told anyone?"

"Because…"

"That isn't an answer."

"It's my answer, okay?" Tenten couldn't help it. Hinata was daring to ask questions that Tenten couldn't deal with right then. "I've never been good at this kind of thing, and I don't want everyone worrying about me. It's bad enough when Guy and Lee do that. I don't want to have to explain what goes through my head. I don't even think I know what does..."

Hinata's palm was resting against Tenten's hip again, fingers sliding up, and under her sea green top with gold embellishments. "Stay with me…"

"I didn't plan on leaving tonight."

"No, Tenten…" Hinata let her tongue and teeth play at her lower lip. She hesitated, before speaking. "I don't want you to be alone anymore."

Tenten pushed herself up, resting her weight on her elbows. "What are you saying?" That hand had moved from her side to her belly when she switched positions, and Hinata's thumb caressing soft skin was doing nothing to ease Tenten's obvious discomfort.

"That I want to take things slow with you." Hinata murmured. "That I want to be with you."

That was too pointed a confession, and Tenten wasn't used to seeing this side of Hinata. It had to be some demented form of nightmare, something she ate, or a delusion. Nothing more than that. That hand grounded her, and Hinata's soft stare was pure. Honestly waiting for a rejection that Tenten was honestly thinking of giving her. This was crazy, and so completely not what Tenten was sure she would be getting herself into tonight.

The space between them...the awkward silence...it was maddening.

Tenten could only settle her hand over Hinata's, the fabric of her shirt was a barrier. Just another division between sanity and lunacy. "Are you for real?"

"Yes."

"I'm a chick…" Tenten muttered, with a scowl.

"So you are…"

"And you're saying things like that…" Tenten could only look down to the way their legs were still tangled up into one another. That she actually liked that, and the kissing, and being near Hinata in general startled her.

"I'll keep saying them." Hinata told her.

The feeling was overwhelming. "I'll be honest, it's kind of freaking me out."

"Is it me?" Hinata asked her. "Or this?" Her thumb sent another shiver through Tenten.

The older girl gripping that pale hand even harder to steady it. "I…don't know. All I know is that as much as it scares me...I don't hate it."

Hinata withdrew her hand, lifting it to Tenten's cheek, and much to her surprise, Tenten leaned in, her lips brushing over Hinata's own once more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Liquor Cuts Deeper  
Chapter 3**

Somewhere between the kisses and the caresses, Tenten had found that she didn't mind the fact that Hinata's hands wandered. Perhaps it was the woman's clear skill, her comfort in the matter. Or maybe it was simply because Tenten was now slowly accustomed to those hands trailing along her midriff, under the fabric of her shirt.

Whatever it was, she had found it a nice, if not somewhat odd, action.

That was, until Hinata reached further. It was a slip of the fingertip, one eager kiss had them both reeling from the feel of it. Either way, the startled, if not panicked gasp that left Tenten's mouth was enough to still the both of them.

"Hinata…"

The woman didn't move. Not an inch. Her fingers stayed over that white weaved fabric of combat bindings, even as her palm rested on something softer, and intoxicating. The metal and cloth wrappings that protected Tenten's chest and ribs had ridden up, bunched up like a roll of cotton scarf. It made fondling those all too touchable breasts just that much easier to get to.

Hinata, unsurprisingly was the first to avert her gaze. Copping a feel hadn't been her intention at the time, but she was afraid to pull away. The slightest movement could have a huge impact on Tenten, and Hinata knew that.

With her mouth unbelievably dry, she worked her lips together. She swallowed hard, looking for some relief, finding none. Not for her throat, or the ache that had begun to torment her between her legs. She was no saint, and Tenten was a beautiful girl. Hinata had glanced Tenten's body at the baths, it was unavoidable.

All of the Konoha girls tended to know what the other looked like…but to have that woman in her arms, to feel her…was a stimuli that Hinata couldn't process quite so easily. It would be so easy to ravish this woman, take Tenten and smash her resolve into complete nothingness. That would be unkind, harsh, and far too cruel. Hinata wanted Tenten to make her own choices. To be guided along into the depth of what could be offered, and knowingly break down her own resistances.

In the end, Hinata knew, that was the only way for Tenten herself to find peace with any of this. An idea came to mind. "Tenten, do you want to go somewhere with me?"

"Where would we go at this time of night?"

"Someplace special." Hinata needed Tenten to say yes. To get them out of that bedroom before Hinata did something she would regret as she eased Tenten away from her and flung off the blankets from around them. It was ungodly hot. "I need you to come with me…" Or rather, she needed to go there herself, but she had no words to explain that.

Still, Tenten was confused, but followed her anyway.

They snuck out into the deep woods, taking a trail that Hinata had known about long before, and had blazed hundreds of times habitually as a child. The crystal cool lake that greeted them was only one of many. Hinata knew about so many of them. Without preamble, she stripped herself of her clothing, and jumped right in, thankful that the moonlit sky had not been bright enough to showcase her arousal before she hit the water.

Truth be told, her moistened panties alone would have been enough of a sign, should Tenten have cared to look.

"That water must be freezing." Tenten chided, rationality overtaking baser nature.

"That is the point." Hinata said, wishing the cold water was ridding the blush on her face. Probably not, but it was a prayer she held onto anyway. "It was too much for me. I needed this." Then Hinata licked her lips. "Maybe, you should come in too."

"I don't think I should…" Tenten trailed off.

She pulled off her shoes, and rolled up her pant legs, sticking her feet into the water. It was absolutely freezing. She knew to expect it, since the lake was fed by a distant waterfall from the north. Even so, she found herself looking into the black velvet of the sky above, the water rippled in reflection. Inside of that velvet was Hinata, shrouded in that too cold water, and Tenten felt her mind clawing at her again.

Somehow, she had pushed Hinata away.

It was all so confusing, this blurred line that happened on this dark night.

Tenten looked away when Hinata swam up next to her. It was too dark to see anything outside of Hinata's shapely frame, and the dim twinkle of her eyes when the light hit just right. Even so, just knowing that Hinata was naked, and that half of her torso was fully out of the water did nothing to ease Tenten's mind. She shouldn't be looking, she knew that, but a hand on her knee demanded her gaze.

"It's difficult." Hinata began. "I know that."

"I want to kiss you again." Tenten pressed. "It's just, I know if I do that, it's not going to be just a kiss...and...I don't want you pulling away every time a freak out a little bit."

Hinata did kiss her, but she held back, her hands slipping behind her back to keep them at bay. It drove Tenten even crazier as she found her mind fog over, clutching Hinata's arms. Her nails bit into skin around the same time Hinata nipped her lips with gentle insistence, deepening the feeling, and the emotion behind it. The woman was a temptress, and no one in Konohagakure knew it.

Or…actually, someone else probably did, and that fact was another reason Tenten held back.

The experiences were too new to categorize or observe impartially, because every touch was liquid fire. Tenten had no idea how to contend with that, or even if she wanted to. What was worse, Hinata seemed perfectly okay with whatever this strange game was between them. When Tenten pulled away from the kiss, she didn't let Hinata back away. "How are you so okay with this?" Tenten couldn't wrap her head around any of it. This was the selfsame woman who used to faint in the middle of blushing. "A younger you would have keeled over by now."

Hinata let her hands fall to her sides, they disappeared back into the water.

"I cried my first time, because deep down, I felt like I was betraying myself." Hinata said as she lifted her hands to Tenten's shirt, working the clasps, and pushing the fabric back, off of the girl's shoulders. "Having what we want isn't always easy, but to continually deny yourself the things you want, even if they scare you….that's even worse. I came to terms with that. It's just that simple." She unhooked the metal netting, leaving only the cloth bindings behind. She would let Tenten decide whether to keep them, or to let them go.

She pushed herself away from the rock. Away from Tenten, and yet still invited the brown haired woman to join her. With her expectations particularly low, she looked up to the stars. Whatever Tenten decided to do would be okay with her. She heard the rustling of fabric, and then a soft splash, followed by a hiss of breath as the cool water sapped heat from overheated skin. Then, she let herself look, to truly see, and she felt heat in her belly once more.

Tenten could inspire the worst in her.

"Tenten...you're not ready." Hinata murmured. "Let's just...watch the sun rise...together...wait for the new day to come."

"Is that what you truly want?" Tenten asked.

"No...but we can't have that either." Hinata told her. "I...I want you, but not like this. Not by trying to block away everything. I don't want to be numb, Tenten. I want to be able to feel things, and I want those things to matter...maybe...one day...you'll want that too."

"And if I do?" Tenten asked.

"Then I'll still be here..." Hinata murmured. "I'll give you that Tenten...whenever you want it."

"What if I never do? What if I just want to be numb?"

Hinata sighed. "Then next year, bring a bottle of sake to my place...we'll be numb together...but if that happens Tenten, I don't think..." Hinata shook her head. "If I'm drunk, I won't be able to hold back."

"Maybe...I don't want you to." Tenten sighed. "Does that make me a terrible person?"

Hinata shrugged. "I don't know...I don't think we ever will."


End file.
